Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Forgive those who hurt you! Ex Factor... Part 1

So recently I decided with my strong independent self, to suck up my pride and speak to my ex! Which was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.

So your wondering "how did ya'll break up?"

 Well we were together for almost 2 years. I fell in love with him the first time I saw him literally. Even when he was dating other people, I still had a feeling in my heart that one day we would be together and we did. It was rocky at first because a lot of people in my high school didn't want us together. We never fought in public or argued. We handled all of our problem like adults. We made sure we never went to bed angry with each other. I believed that God should be in the center of our relationship at all times. So when it came to sex he already knew he wasn't having it!!! And he was proud and pleased of my decision and never asked to have it.

After high school graduation we had a wonderful summer and then college started. Which was weird for us both. We were away from each other for an entire summer once so we knew, well I knew that it would be okay. But he was holding a lot from me and I never knew he was going through a lot at home which lead to his decision to break up with me with a text message.... yes he sure did.

I went through hell trying to understand why did someone that I loved and someone that I assumed that loved me would do something to me like that. After that everything just went down hill. I had no friends to talk to because they were in college. Also my best friend decided to stop talking to me as well. College was hard and stressful .

So last week Sunday I saw him at a graduation and I confronted him. I know I saw that punk wipe his eyes but he denied it smh. What ever I wanted to say to him I said it... But because I didn't want to bash him for all the pain he put me through, I did assure him that I still pray for him and his family daily and that I forgive him. If God forgives me daily for all the sins I do, I believe as a sinner I should do the same. Life is to short to stay angry and hold malice towards other people!!

It takes a lot of strength and courage to go through what I went through. And I know if I didn't have a relationship with God I would have never had the strength to approach my ex.

The hardest part now is that he has a girl friend but he wants to be friends with me. I can't handle that right now in my life. I am still trying to get over him but how do you get over your first love???

It's hard so it will take time and prayer and time.


How do you you handle being friends with your ex? Or is it okay to be friends with your ex?

If you've ever had this situation happen to you let me know! I would love to know what you did to get through your rough time.

Take care and stay fabulous!!


  1. Great decision girl,
    Be strong and move on.There is someone great out there waiting for you.

  2. Oh wow, I don't know you but I am proud of you! That was really the right hting ot do. SHame on him for ending things the way he did but Kudos to you for getting through College! I read this and my heart went out to you...and High five* for the V-girls club mention! Glad you're still on board!lol

  3. oh damn.... Agreeing to the first comment.
    Move on ;) Sure you'll find someone better..

    I could sure tell you a hell of a story about what I've been through with my bf whose been my ex for over a year now. but it's too personal to be posted here :)

    alll i can say about it is i'm glad he's out of my life because damn he damaged me badly, but I;m happy that I took the time to give someone else the chance.

    He became my bf and funny enough he's been my dance partner for about 2 years and he sure is the best bf i've had ^_^.

    I always hated to say it, but i guess it's true..
    There's a reason why they are ex's. :)
    stay strong, and you'll find a great guy;) :)

  4. Hey girly!!!
    This is a beautiful post, It takes a lot to share your personal life with anyone let alone in a blog post. So thanks for sharing. I'm going through somewhat of a similar situation. I had a bf I dated for 7 months. I know 7 months isn't a long time at all but months prior to meeting my ex, God gave me a vision of him and I knew in my heart and with every being of my body that my ex was in my life for a reason. What reason that was.. I'm not very sure lol but long story short we ended up breaking up. And although its been a yr since we've broken up. I am still very much in love with him. These sort of things are very hard to deal with. You don't know whether to keep these ex's involved with your life as a friend or to cut them off. I say just stay in prayer and ask God to reveal to you what he wants you to do. It's easy to say an ex is an ex for a reason but I truly don't believe that is always the case for everybody. Sometimes God allows two people to come together. and they break up because they need some growing to do, so if or when they come back together, things will be a lot better. Stay strong girl, I know exactly what you're going through. And take this time to better yourself, find areas that you can improve in as a gf, learn new recipes, read up on relationship books, that way in your next relationship or if u get back with your ex :) you can be an even better phenomenal Kami. Best of luck.

  5. It's hard to tell some one who is in love with their ex to stay away from them. The only reason I can be friends with my ex is that I want to try patch things up or get back with them. As girls we are emotionally vulnerable and we think subconsciously being friend with our ex(which includes being there for them, encouraging them as 'friends' or even laughing at their jokes)will some how make them realise that they still love us. I'll tell you that guys don't work like that.

    When a guy says lets be friends..he means just that FRIENDS. As girls we like to hope that he might see us as more when we become friends but that's just a misconception. A guy whose into a girl will probably already let the girl know how he feels.

    I'll give you and all the girls out there three advise about this scenario. 1)Let the guy know how you feel about him. You might get rejected/a broken heart but it won't kill you. Be truthful to yourself about why you really want to be 'friends' with your ex. If you've searched deep and down and found that its because you want to be back with him, then fight relentlessly for him until he's yours. You will not take no for an answer (p.s. you'll need a little courage and selflessness to achieve this)

    2)If you're not a relentless fighter, at least let him know how you feel, then walk away from him because seeing him with his new girl friend will hurt you more than you ever know and will add more years for you heart to heel. Make sure you let him know that you'll be walking away from him because he'll be hurting you too much. In this way, you've confronted your feelings, lifted a weight off your chest and you've received closure. It's better than wondering what 'if'- what if i'd told him how i felt? what if I'd fought for him

    3) Walk away from him! no buts! no ifs! No telling him how you feel. I don't usually like option 3 because it create what 'ifs' and doubts and it generally doesn't give you closure.

    Whatever option you chose, it won't be easy and you'll need support from family and friend and God of course. I sympathize with you greatly and i've been or i'm in this scenario but I chose to carry out option 1. In a nutshell b STRONG! p.s sorry for this long comment.


  6. I can totally relate to your expierence something similar hapened to me and believe me only God brought me relief and sanity. Me and my ex are kinda friends now. Worse part is his new gf was a friend.


  7. If you’ve been through a breakup recently--

    Or if your man seems to be drifting further away each day...

    Then it’s time to pull out all the stops.

    Because 99% of the time, there is only 1 thing your man can hear that will change his mind and heart.

    Here’s how: ==> Your Ex Won’t Be Able To Resist ]

    And once you say this to him, or even send this simple phrase in a text message...

    It will flip his world upside down and you will suddenly find him chasing you...

    And even begging to be with you.

    Here’s what I’m talking about:

    Here’s how: ==> Why He Won’t Be Able To Live Without You ]

    [SIGN OFF]